Child Parent Relationship

A child will go through many stages of development, from birth to adolescence. Parental and family supports required and provided will look very different as a child grows into a toddler, pre-teen and teenager. However, whilst child developmental stages and challenges are very differnet across these age groupings, the need for family and parental support is consistent. In the early years the role of a parent is much more about nurturing and protecting. As a child matures into a toddler and young person where they start to develop independence and autonomous thinking, family relationships and the child’s and parent’s needs change. Moving into their teenage years, the relationship begins to morph and change yet again into one of more being equals within the family. As a parent, your role is primarily about caring, providing emotional support, keeping your children safe, and helping with decision-making. And while your child will still have the same fundamental love for you as when they were young, their attitudes, behaviours, and mood swings may give a very different impression. It is a natural and common element of parenting for families to work through significant ups and downs during the adolescent years – typically most families work through this by late adolescence and will experience defiant behaviour, risk-taking at time, and oppositional responses. It is very important to remember during this time that in the majority of cases this is just another difficult stage of growing up for both parent and child. However, it is important to keep a close eye out for worrying or concerning signs which may include bouts of significant depression, showing signs of anxiety in certain situations, hints of bullying behaviours from friends or peers and other behaviours that are completely out of character for your child.

It is not easy being a parent, but the following basic steps may help.

• Remember that adolescence can be a very challenging time for young persons – this can be due to physical changes, social relationships developing, and emotional ups and downs of finding their way in life leading to stressful situations. During these times it is important for the family base to be stable and secure where children feel loved no matter what else is going on in their life, and where you are always available to provide physical and emotional support, and reassurance.
• Rules and boundaries are still important and underpin standards of behavioural expectations.
• Your life experiences can be helpful, but the young person may just not be ready to hear it so don’t lecture, but rather be a friendly ear and provide reassurance wherever you can.
• Regul routines can help a young person to feel secure such has family meals, regular outings, one-on-one time and other activities that create the opportunity for connection. These don’t have to be complex – a trip to the movies, shopping or meals together where you simply talk about nothing, in particular, are very important.

I am Isobel Stokes, a Psychologist in Brisbane with extensive Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology experience. I have a particular interest in adjustment to new parenthood, and in the parent-child relationship. I am located in Greenslopes Brisbane and am the owner of OnTrack Psychology. I offer an obligation-free 15-minute telephone consultation – contact me today.